"If I don't buy designer shoes, I won't go to school."

This website December 12th , usually many people like to compare, especially some children, personality development is not very perfect. If you have this kind of psychology in the long run, it is likely to make life unbalanced.

Proper comparison is not bad for you, and it will also stimulate people's fighting spirit, but if you are very strong or stay in this mood for a long time, it will have a great impact on the child's physical and mental.

"I won't go to school without buying brand-name shoes," Ma Xiaojun said to his mother one day. He has had this idea for a long time, and today he finally vented it, and his heart was much relieved.

Ma Xiaojun is a 12-year-old boy. Mum is an ordinary person, earning little wages, but always wanted to give him the best education, managed to manage the relationship, spent his savings and sent him to a noble school, where the children were either rich or expensive.

I want to establish some good connections for the child and lay the foundation for his future life and employment. But she did not expect that one day the child would tell that she did not want to go to school, and she was mad.

Before the child asked her to buy a pair of designer shoes for her, but after paying the tuition to Xiaojun, there was little left. She usually paid him living expenses on a regular basis. He had no extra money to buy a pair of designer shoes.

And those shoes that Xiaojun originally wore were already very good, more expensive than hers. But the children are not satisfied, and they have to increase their requirements and want to buy some more expensive Nike shoes. At the beginning, she did not agree, and felt that the child's temper had passed, and he did not satisfy him.

After a few days the child didn't want to go to school, only then did she realize the importance of the problem. But no matter how you ask, your son just doesn't answer and doesn't say why he doesn't want to go.

She thought that Xiaojun was bullied at school, and she wanted to call the teacher for advice. When her son saw this situation, he immediately snatched the phone. Tell her that her shoes are the worst in the class.

Others are brand-name, feel shameless, afraid of being laughed at by other students, so I don't want to wear such dirt shoes to go to school.

Mom was very surprised. She didn't expect the child's mentality to be so serious. He is still so young. If he is satisfied, will he intensify next time and ask for more? My mother has a lot of thoughts and has been wondering whether to buy him.

What should parents do when facing children's comparison?

1. Don't stop rudely

If the child has this behavior, don't just refuse to stop, stop him, or accuse him loudly, it will increase the difficulty of communication and enter a dead end.

The next time the child encounters this situation and trouble, they will not open their hearts and talk to parents, and many problems will be difficult to solve. It is best to stand in the eyes of friends and be equal and gentle with your child's dialogue, which will make communication smoother.

2. Find out why

When faced with this situation, don't just scold the child, but understand the reasons behind it and deal with it in a targeted manner. If it is a relatively small requirement, he can be met appropriately.

If the child is very demanding, unreasonable, and unable to meet him, he can be guided and corrected through some scientific methods. But don't be too aggressive, and don't be too anxious.

3. Normally treat

If the child often makes troubles unreasonably and likes to compare, don't think it is a big thing, then it is easy to get angry and treat it with ordinary heart.

Sometimes comparison is a normal phenomenon. Compared with adults, children's mentality is not yet mature, personality development is not very perfect, and their cognitive level is relatively low. Often, I will recognize myself and affirm my worth through the evaluation of the outside world, some partners or friends.

We must understand him properly, accept him, and guide with scientific methods.

4. divert attention

Usually guide the child to do something meaningful, such as taking care of small animals, etc., to divert his attention.

In this way, he would not like physical comparisons so much. If the child has made progress in his studies and is very good, he will gradually become confident and fulfilled by the teachers and other people.

He will be happier and no longer need to rely on some external material comparisons to affirm his value. Therefore, when he is studying, when he makes a little progress, he must praise and build his self-confidence.

In this way, he will be more motivated to study and will not spend extra energy on messy things.

5. Promote your child to progress through hard work

Do it yourself and set an example for him. Or to be clear about the dangers of comparison, happiness and joy are not richer than anyone else, but harder than anyone else.

Let him direct the direction of comparison to his studies. But blind preaching is very powerless, and it has to be subtle and affect him. As long as you work hard, everything will be there in the future.

Maybe he didn't understand and didn't understand it at the beginning, but using the right method to say it, he will figure it out after a long time.

No one is perfect, neither is an adult, nor is a child. Usually many adults have some comparison mentality, and children have this situation, it is normal.

Parents should treat it with a correct attitude and dilute their children's material desires. Compared with others, there will always be frustration. What is more important is to let children find the joy of life and self-worth to improve this situation.

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